Connections in the Inbetween
by Lil Miss Snarker
Summary: My name is Emma. Last name, Nelson. The story I'm going to tell you is about when my life stopped being normal, which is around the time my life stopped in general. I was fourteen years old when I died. Based on The Lovely Bones. Noncon and Murder.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Yes, this is based on _The Lovely Bones_, I love the book and the movie coming out has sort of reawakened my passion. I thought this could be a really interesting character study of Emma and a good way to go into her early relationships with Snake and Sean. So here goes.

Disclaimer: I own neither Degrassi: The Next Generation nor _The Lovely Bones _by: Alice Sebold. Try not to sue.

Connections in the Inbetween  
Chapter One: The End of the Beginning

My name is Emma. Last name, Nelson. My mother's name is Christine Nelson, but most people call her Spike. My biological father's name is Shane Mckay. Shane fell and hit his head when I was just a baby. He changed after that....we don't see each other much. My stepfather's name is Archie Simpson, though people usually call him Snake. I also have a half-brother named Jack. I don't suppose you really care about any of that though. None of it's really very important. The normal facts of a normal life. The story I'm going to tell you is about when my life _stopped_ being normal, which is around the time my life stopped in general. I was fourteen years old...when I died. On December 1, 2003.

It's funny, the things stick out in your mind, once you're no longer here. A school dance. A boy that, if I had managed to grow up just a little bit more, may have turned out not to be so important. I remember my first real crush. I met him over the Internet. First crushes are supposed to be special...my murderer kind of ruined that. He ruined a lot of things.

* * *

"Snake!" I called out as I put the finishing touches to my hair and then grabbed my backpack, "We're both going to be late for school unless you're ready by the time I get downstairs." Snake was a teacher at my school. He and my mother had been old friends when I was just a baby, he had even known my father, back when he was normal. If Shane was ever normal...I guess I don't really know what he was like. My relationship with Snake was strained at times because I felt like he tried too hard to be my dad. He _was_ my dad, of course, but I didn't really understand that until after I was gone.

"Just a minute, Emma, I'm finishing my breakfast!"

"Bring it in the car!" I yelled as I bounded down the stairs.

"It's eggs," he replied, walking into the living room with a plate, looking slightly annoyed.

"Put them on a paper plate, _Snake_, we have to go!"

"Emma, he can finish the eggs and still be on time," my mom called from the kitchen, "Now don't yell at your father."

"He's not my father," I replied in a sing-songy voice as I went into the kitchen grabbing a glass of juice and a Pop-tart. Mom was bouncing Jack haphazardly as she continued to fry bacon in a pan on the stove, "And just for the record, I respect the right of anyone in this house to eat whatever they want, but _please_ don't cook anything I ever eat in that pan."

"Dually noted. And 'just for the record'? Being a moody fourteen year old vegetarian doesn't give you the right to be rude. Got it?"

"Got it," I answered with a roll of my eyes, mouth full of Pop-tart.

"You done with your eggs yet, Arch?" asked my mom as Snake walked back into the room.

"Just about...almost, and--" he took a last bite off the plate before placing it on the dinning room table, "done."

"Great," I said, downing the rest of my juice in one gulp and dropping the half-eaten Pop-tart in the trash, "_Now_ can we go?"

"Emma," reprimanded my mother again before turning to Snake, "Drive carefully."

"Mmhmm," he muttered as he kissed her before looking down and kissing Jack on the top of the dead.

"Okay. Let's go."

"_Finally_."

The car ride was kind of...awkwardly silent. Snake was probably hurt by the way I had been acting, but the thought hadn't even occurred to me. I was too busy wondering what boy my best friend Manny was going to be in love with today, and whether my boyfriend Sean had any intentions of actually going on a date this week instead hanging out and watching TV at our friend Craig's house. When we pulled up the school, Snake had sat there for a minute after turning off the car. He probably wanted to say something, I got out anyway.

* * *

"Have you _seen_ Craig today?" Manny asked me the second I walked into the school, filled with the usual enthusiasm that consumed her when discussing Craig or any other boy.

"Not really no...I saw him last night though, I was babysitting Angie." Angie was Craig's little half-sister, both of Craig's parents had died, and he lived with her and her dad, his stepfather Joey, who happened to be best friends with Snake.

"Well, he looks _gorgeous_."

"Manny, I hate to point out the obvious, but Craig is dating _Ashley_."

"_Must_ you remind me?" she inquired over-dramatically, throwing herself against her locker.

"I'm just saying--"

"She doesn't deserve him, you know, she doesn't know him like I do."

"Manny?"

"Yes?" she replied, still dreamily leaning against the locker with her eyes closed.

"You and Craig went on _one_ date. _Six months ago_."

"So?"

"Have you even talked to him since?"

"Well of _course_, I have!" she exclaimed, finally turning around and beginning to open her locker, "Just...not as much as I'd like. Could you put in a good word for me?"

"Manny, once again, dating Ashley Kerwin."

"_Details_, my dear Emma, mere details." It was right about then that the bell rang, "Crap!" exclaimed Manny, "We need to get to home room. You coming?"

"Just a second," I answered as I spot Sean walking down the hall. Manny ran off without another word.

"Hey Em."

"Hey you, we gonna do anything tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?" asked Sean in his usual manner, somewhere between clueless and not caring.

"It _is_ Saturday," I said teasingly, pulling my books out of my locker.

"Right...I was thinking we'd just sort of hang out at your place...We could go to Craig's--"

"I want to go _out_, Sean," I replied scoldingly, getting seriously annoyed, "On a _date._ Like _normal_ couples do."

He seemed pretty undeterred, I think he actually found my outburst to be more cute than anything else. "Okay then, what would you like to do."

"Movie. At the mall," I said without missing a beat.

"Meet you at noon?"

"Sure." I smiled as he kissed me on the cheek before turning to walk down the hall, "Sean," I called after him.

"Yeah?"

"Where?"

"...The fountain."

"Okay!"

* * *

I had told Snake I would walk home. I'm not sure why, I think I expected Sean to appear out of nowhere and walk me home. He didn't...I think he got a ride with Craig and Joey. It's funny, how my entire life has been decided by my annoyance with Snake and a silly fantasy. It had gotten awfully cold and had started to get dark when I was walking home and I had decided to cut through the park I usually took Angie to when I was babysitting her. I had no idea I was being followed. I heard somewhere people are supposed to sense those sort of things. I've wondered a lot about that, why I couldn't feel someone's eyes on me.

I had just left the play-scape and entered the woods that trailed behind them when I heard the crush of a foot on a dry leaf behind me. "Is somebody there?" I know. Pathetically horror movie like and naive, but it was all I could think of to say. "Hello?" No answer.

I continued to walk again, but I didn't get far before I heard that noise again. "Okay, seriously, who's there?" I called out. No answer again, of course. But this time when I stopped I continued to hear the noises of someone close. "You know what? Whoever you are, you're freaking me out...so just stop."

I'd just barely turned my back when someone ran up behind me and grabbed me. I started to scream, but he put a napkin on my mouth and I blacked out. I guess it was chloroform. But I'd never really know for sure.

When I woke up I was in an entirely different part of the woods. There was duck tape over my mouth and a man was kneeling over me. It had been two years since I'd seen him, but I recognized Jordan straight away. He was my Internet crush. He'd told me over the Internet that was 12 like me. Of course in reality, he had been about forty and a pervert. I didn't take him saying anything for me to be terrified.

"Hello, Emma," he said simply, grinning manically and putting a hand on my cheek. I started to shake and I was crying but he wouldn't stop.

He took out a knife and ran it down my shirt, splitting the skin on my stomach in the process. Slowly, methodically, he took off all my clothes, then my underwear. He touched me. I wanted to throw up, but my mouth was taped and I knew I'd choke so I fought the urge with every bone of my body. When he got on top of me I began to scratch at him. I managed to break the skin. Somewhere in the back of my mind, in the part of my conscious that wasn't obsessed with survival that struck me as odd, my nails had never been very long or very sharp. The fighting didn't stop him much. He twisted both of my arms back. He broke my left and held my right in place.

When he pressed into me it hurt...more than I could possibly say. I screamed as much as I could under the gag, but I don't think anyone else could hear. When he was done he took the knife and ran it against my face. It wasn't violent. Not really. It was almost gentle. "Tell me you love me," he whispered as he began to press the knife down.

I knew then I wasn't going to make it, but some part of me still vainly hoped I could win him over, "I love you."

Five seconds later the knife plunged into my chest.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or _The Lovely Bones_. And my ability to come up with a creative disclaimer is overshadowed by the fact that it's one o'clock in the morning

Connections in the Inbetween  
Chapter Two: Falling

It's a strange feeling when you die. It's like...everything and nothing is happening in the same time. I don't think I died the moment Jordan first cut into me, but I do think I left my body. I was floating over him as he continued hacking. I won't go into details, but suffice to say by the end my body was series of pieces by the end. It was like my heart beat filled the entire world, and as it slowed things became less and less clear. By the end I felt less like I was floating and more like I was falling. I was falling in a hundred different directions and I could feel myself leaving the woods, my body soaring down the tiny pathway the wove through the park. As I flew I felt myself go through someone. When I turned back around I couldn't see the girl's face, but I could see her fall on her knees on the path. But before I could a better look I was falling again. And then, suddenly, I hit the ground.

I was in the center of the park, but no one else was around. Which, I guess, makes sense, because it would have been about eight o'clock at night and the parks are usually empty by then. Then again, if I was excepting the fact that it was night it should have been dark, but it wasn't. It was almost strangely light, actually. I lay there in the middle of the playground, alone, for what seemed like forever, before realizing I was crying. "Please don't be so upset, Sweetie. It really doesn't matter anyway, not anymore," came a voice out of nowhere.

I turned around and starred at the woman on the top of the play-scape for a minute. She was so beautiful for a minute I thought she was an angel. She had long, curly, dark hair and olive skin. She also had a kind face. After looking her over, though, I realized she was in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. It struck me as so odd for an angel to be dressed in such a way I decided to observe her more closely. I recognized her, but I couldn't quite place her, "I'm sorry," I said out of nowhere. I was apologizing for not remembering her, not for crying, but it occurred to me afterwards it didn't really make sense in context.

Somehow though, she understood, "It's okay, Emma," she said softly, taking a hand to my cheek. An image of the woman almost gliding across the dance floor in a wedding dress suddenly entered my mind and I knew who she was.

"Mrs. Jeremiah?"

She laughed goodnaturedly, "I think you can call me Julia."

I felt my face get hot, which I guess means I had blushed. I wondered if it was even possible for the dead the blush. The thought left a bad taste in my mouth. I had felt myself leave my body, and obviously I recognized there was no way I survived Jordan cutting up my entire body. Nevertheless, this was the first time I'd actually thought of myself as dead. "I'm dead," I said softly, the statement was more to myself than to Craig's mom, but I guess she had taken it as a question.

"Yes, Sweetheart, I'm afraid you are." She gingerly sat down, her legs dangling of the edge of the jungle gym, "I'm so sorry, Emma."

"...It's not your fault," I whispered, still caught up in my own mind, "Oh my God, my parents! They don't know! They don't even know where I am, I have to--"

"They wouldn't see you, Emma, or hear you. You're on an entirely different plane."

"But--but that girl, on the path, she felt me!" I exclaimed, trying to argue my case, I needed to get to my mom. I needed to get to Snake.

"It _is_ possible to leave an impression on the living, Emma," she exclaimed, coming down off the top of the gym and hold out her hand for me to get up, "But any thing more than a _feeling_, any attempt at true contact, would be a mistake--"

"Why?!?"

"Because it's not meant to be, Emma. It's not natural."

"What _part_ of this is _natural_?" I screamed at her. It was surprising even to me, the outburst of emotion. It was as if all the pain, the reality of everything that had happened was finally hitting me fully.

"Emma, you have to calm down."

"No! It's all gone, all of it. Everything got taken away and I don't get anything I should have. I have to at least have the people I love know what happened!" I wasn't really angry with her of course, but to have this woman, who I'd barely known when she was alive, telling me what to do, telling me not to try and find my family, was infuriating. I'd been taken away from my friends, my family, Sean: they had to know why, it wasn't fair that I was gone, but it would be even more unfair if they didn't even know where I went.

I took off running before Julia could do anything. I just continued to run and as I did the color of the world changed and it suddenly became dark like it should have been all along. I had been on my way to my house in the first place, I was determined to finish the trip.

I never got there though. I had gotten out into the middle of my neighborhood when I saw Snake's car. It wasn't that long after that I saw my mom running around to different people and showing them a picture. I guess it was mine.

"Excuse me, my daughter was supposed to be home five hours ago..."

Five hours ago?

"--No, I'm sorry, I haven't seen her," said the neighbor in an emotionless voice.

"Oh, well, thank you anyway," she said, before running off. I knew my mother, she was trying to control her voice, but I could tell she was on the edge of hysterics.

"Mom!" I called out. She didn't even flinch. I ran towards her and went to touch her, but my hand just went right through. She took off down the opposite end of the street.

"Hey!" exclaimed another voice from behind me, causing me to turn around, "Hey! have you seen her?" Snake asked a stranger desperately as she shoved a picture in their face. They shook their head and took off. He turned to another person, "Sir? Sir, please, my little girl never came home, if you could just look at the picture for a minute--"

"Snake!" I yelled, again no reaction, but for some reason I knew I had to try again, "Dad!" I yelled this time, feeling the force behind me, _"Dad!_" I called again. Her turned around and looked in my exact direction.

"Emma?!?" he screamed, though whether it was in response to me calling him, or just an attempt to seek me out was anybody's guess.

"_DADDY!_" I screamed even louder.

"_EMMA!"_ he ran towards me. At that moment, though, Julia appeared behind me, pulling me into a back alley behind us. Snake ran by looking around aimlessly before taking off to another part of the street.

"I told you _not_ to do that, Emma."

"He knows I'm here," I whispered, barely even hearing her, "My dad knows I'm here."

"When we try to contact the living it doesn't just keep us from moving on, Emma," said Julia gently as she turned me to face her, "It keeps _them_ from moving on, too."

I stayed silent for several minutes before looking her straight in the eye, "If they never find out what happened, they aren't going to be able to move on anyway."

"You'll understand eventually, Emma. I can't help you until you do." Julia turned and began walking away.

"Julia, wait!" I called out, but she was gone.

* * *

It's funny, when you die, how quickly time can pass, the world fading in and out of color. I ended up walking back to the park and settling myself onto a swing. The night passed and day came, and even though I couldn't quite remember where, I knew I was supposed to be somewhere.

* * *

_"You're gonna walk home all by yourself?"_

_"You could walk me."_

_"I told Tracker I'd be home right away, Craig's giving me a ride. You could come with us."_

_"I think I'll just walk, Sean."_

_"Em, it's cold. And it's getting dark."_

_"Aw...you're so cute when you're worried. I'll be _fine_. You gonna be there tomorrow?"_

_"Of course. Noon. Mall. Fountain. Right?"_

_"Noon. Mall. Fountain."_

_

* * *

  
_

"Sean..." That was the first time I'd ever made myself travel anywhere. I knew I needed to get to Sean and suddenly I was at the mall. It was 12:30. I could see him at the fountain, but I couldn't quite reach him and I could tell he was upset I wasn't there yet. For some reason, this upset me more than anything else that had happened. The fact that I wasn't going to get to go on that _damn date._ I started to cry again.

"Sean!" called out another voice behind me. I turned around and saw Manny running towards him.

"Oh, hey Manny," he said sort of dispondently, tossing a coin into the fountain.

"Have you seen Emma today?" she asked, she sounded near hysterics. Like my parents had last night. That was when it occured to me she probably knew I was missing.

"Huh? No. She was supposed to meet me here today, but she bailed," he replied angrily, "Which I find really fucking funny, actually, because _she_ was the _one _who--"

"No no no, Sean--"

"What?"

"Emma never came home last night."

"_What?_" Sean's face had gotten very white. If I knew anything about him he was remembering the conversation we'd had the day before, thinking that he should have insisted I come with him and Craig. Just like Sean, really, taking responsibility for everyone but himself.

"If her mom and Simpson don't find her soon they're going to call the police."


End file.
